Monday, November 15, 2010

What is Squirting and can any woman do it?

I am always asking the Ladies to give me feedback on the blog and to inbox me their questions.  Last week I received an email that I would like to share with you as well as my answers to her questions:

The Question:
Hello Tajahi,

I have a question regarding squirting or gushing when I orgasm with my man. What is it and where does it come from?? Why can't some of my girls (besties) do it also??

Please let me know I would really appreciate any help on this subject. :D

Sexual Waterfall

What is Squirting/Gushing/Female Ejaculation?

Squirting/Gushing/Female Ejaculation is a woman’s ability to actually ejaculate fluid from the body during orgasm.  Squirting, Gushing and Female ejaculation are all the same thing.  It is called Squirting when a woman is able to actually push the fluid out and away from her body where as gushing is just that, a warm gush of fluid.

Many people seem to think that the fluid women ejaculate is urine but it isn’t.  It is clear and does not look or smell like urine.  According to Dr. Berman in her show with Oprah she explains the fluid as PSA (prostate-specific antigen).  Big words that basically mean the fluid comes the Paraurethral gland also called the Skene’s gland shown in the image to the left, but more importantly, it is NOT pee…  The very enlightening video (that I linked above so please watch it) also explains that all women ejaculate, just that for most women, the ejaculate does not come out, instead it retracts into the bladder.  The benefit of being able to squirt or gush is that those who can, experience a more intense orgasm than those who do not.

Is it possible for any woman to ejaculate?

For some woman female ejaculation is very easy and effortless, so the question is, can any woman ejaculate?  I will be honest and tell you I haven’t but according to my research any woman can ejaculate with practice.  Well all right then…  I am ready to practice, what about you?  So lets talk about some techniques.

First thing is you must know is where your G-spot is and how it feels… you can practice this with your man or on your own but you should know how it feels so you can explain it to your man in your own words.

Where is your G-spot?

The G-spot is located inside the vaginal canal.  I can find mine by inserting my finger, hooking it around and aiming for my clit from the inside.  It is normally only 2-3 inches inside the canal; the area is about the size of a quarter and enlarges with stimulation.  It will feel a bit rougher than the surrounding tissue; I think it feels like soft ridges or cottage cheese.  When pressure is applied to your G-spot you will feel sensation of needing to urinate.   As you can see from the diagram above, the G-spot is often considered the backend of your Clitoris.

Points to consider for ejaculation success
  • Attempt to reach orgasm through G-spot massage.  Honestly, this is not something I can do on my own so I suggest having your man help you out…  I am sure he will be inquisitive and want to assist you in your attempts to ejaculate.   Men can stimulate the G-spot by hooking their finger/fingers and moving them with the “come here” motion of the fingertip.  Another massage is a twist of the finger knuckle back and forth across the G-spot area.  Experiment with different types of motions and go with the ones that are most arousing to you.
  • You have to overcome your fear of urinating during your G-spot arousal… I am still working on this one.  The feeling can be overwhelming so ensuring you have emptied your bladder before you start helps.  You have to relax and go with the feeling in order to ejaculate.
  • If there is too much pressure on the urethral tract the ejaculate will do what it normally does and empty into the bladder instead of squirting or gushing out.
  • Put down a towel.  Since you do not know how much fluid you will release, it is best to protect your bed, couch, table… or whatever you are using.  This will also help you feel more comfortable knowing you won’t ruin whatever surface you might be on.
Now it is time for us to try to ejaculate
It is important to keep in mind that you may not ejaculate the first time you try and it may take several attempts before it happens.  With that said it is very important to get aroused… I like cuddling with my man, light kisses, touching arousal spots and something about face-to-face touching with my man makes me hot… but that’s me… so you do your thing.

Next, begin the G-spot massage… if you don’t have a man, use your own fingers or a toy.  A nice warm lubricated glass dildo is good for me.  It is easier to stimulate your G-spot if your toy is curved so check out this quick video explaining why.
G-spot stimulation and orgasm is key in reaching ejaculation so refer back to the information above in the “Where is your G-spot” section if you still aren’t sure where yours is.  Remember that if you are aroused the G-spot area will enlarge making it much easier to find.

If you and your man are using a toy or his fingers I suggest trying to stimulate your clit as well via his tongue or you can do it yourself with lubricated fingers… this intensifies the feeling and regardless if you squirt or not, you are bound to have a very strong orgasm from both the clitoral and G-spot stimulation.  I will just say this… when I have both areas stimulated… my orgasms are out of this world.  My man is often amazed at my reaction and how strong my orgasms can be.

Lastly and most importantly, when the time comes for you to orgasm, relax your PC muscles and push.  Yes, I said push…  It is normal for most of us to retract when we cum.  This last step will probably be the hardest but is also the most important because if you don’t push, you probably won’t ejaculate.  It is important to remember that the ejaculate is not pee and that once we relax and get past this fear, we are on the road to experiencing female ejaculation.

Tajahi's Secrets
Tajahi's Secrets

This should be enough to get us started and to my new squirter friend, “Sexual Waterfall”, I hope this answered your questions.  I will include some links below for reference and will revisit this topic again soon; sharing the best positions for female ejaculation as well as other squirting techniques.  

If you would like to share your squirting experiences, please comment on the blog and help us practicing squirters out.

In the meantime, have fun practicing, HAVE GREAT SEX and see you next week when I share more of Tajahi’s Secrets…. smooches.

“...Claim It”
Lady Tajahi –

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