I will share with you my journey in a quick blog...
My first experience with gaining control and claiming my orgasm started a long time ago... I was very naive, shy and didn't understand my body, fortunately my man wanted me to cum... we talked about it and we decided to try a version of "woman on top" with him propped on a pillow so that he was leaning back and my breast were easily accessible to him... Boy was that wonderful... to go from never having an orgasm to at least one every time we were intimate. After a while though he got burned out on that position and I had to figure something else out.
Now that I knew how to cum and was familiar with the feeling, I was able to have an orgasm in the missionary position but not often and trying to lift my weight plus his weight, so I could grind my C-spot against him, was just too much. I would be totally worn out by the time I had an orgasm that attempting to have another one was out of the question. Sometimes it would take me so long to even get the feeling of wanting to cum that I would just quit. It was so frustrating. I wanted to experience what I had heard so many other women say they experienced... Explosive Orgasms, one after another till they couldn't do it anymore.
I finally got tired of having sex and not being satisfied. There is nothing worse then being horny as hell and when it is over you are not only still horny but totally disappointed cause his ass is sleep. Oh and if you were dealing with my man he would wake up and want to do it again. I would still be just as disappointed after the second round. Ugh... It really put a damper on my sex drive. So I started reading books and discovered that most woman do not cum in the missionary position. I also discovered that for most women clitoral stimulation is necessary to climax consistently during sex...
The next time we did it... I waited to begin intimacy until I was totally aroused... and when I mean totally aroused I mean I was ready grab him and fuck the shit out of his ass... lol. Then I told him the position I wanted to be in which was doggie style. I read that most women came easier in this position because of the G-spot stimulation and the ability for me to have my hands free to stimulate my own clit and that is exactly what I did. OMG was it wonderful. I came 3 times in that position and after that I didn't care what he did cause it all felt wonderful... I was so satisfied. The feeling of having those 3 orgasm brought my confidence way up. He loved it because I was cumming and I loved it cause not only could I cum but I came multiple times.
From that point on I have always been open about telling my man what I like, the positions I find it easy to cum in and we talk about what he likes too. I used to worry about what my man would think about me rubbing my clit but after consistent and multiple climaxes men don't care because they play a big part in your satisfaction.
I hope this helps... and I would love to hear your stories about how you began to claim your own pleasure.